Nimuviel’s Diary: Page 4

Iavas day 3, I Randír Îdh Through good fortune I woke up with the sun this morning and my dreams were less troubled also. I have given Hiril Aldalin a hand in preparing the other guest rooms, for she expects many of her kin to arrive from afar and wishes to offer them comfort when they set foot in the halls. She says she will go to the town of Duillond across the water later this day and has invited me to accompany her. Not wishing to seem idle or ungrateful, I of course accepted her invitation but I am slightly afeared for what or whom I might find in that place. For when I fled south and east after leaving Lin Giliath, when the days were warm but my mind was clouded and grey with despair, it seemed to me, not so long ago, that when I walked through a forest of oak trees in the land of the little folk, a figure rode past me upon a white horse. And the colour and length of his hair, and the attitude of his posture, and the shade of his eyes that I caught but in a flash of a moment, all imposed upon me the image of Adar, and I followed in pursuit of him, though he outtravelled me fast, for he was on horseback and I but on foot. And moving into lands further west, I took a left turn into a valley that was inhabited by Elves, and thought I would find him there, but there Hiril Aldalin found me instead and has looked after me these past few days. Now I fear for what I may find, or not find, when we go into Duillond. Perhaps I will find there the one I pursued and realise that it was not Adar, but another with his likeness, and I will feel both foolish and disappointed. Perhaps I will find no one at all, so that I will have to live in the uncertainty of not knowing if it was Adar I pursued or another, and I will know not where he has gone, and if he has gone further west, if he has travelled on with the Ships. And, perhaps, I will find Adar; and then what will we say to one another, having lived apart for nigh seventy winters? Having parted without goodbyes, and bearing grudges, and with many regrets, how would we converse? Would our qualms be forgotten after so much time apart, our misgivings forgiven and our differences laid aside? My thoughts stray. Of course I will see but the bustle of a town today. Only the merchants will be there, no ghosts of a past life. My mind but strives for old faces and familiarity in all I see. Adar will not be there. His shape among the oak trees was but a figment of my imagination, my pursuit done in a state of delusion that ended at the cherry trees of Hiril Aldalin’s garden. The lady calls for me now. We will go to Duillond.