One fine bottle of Dalish whiskey, and a small keg of very difficult to procure Kingsmead in these times of war. My gifts to my friends for their wedding celebration. I am caught up with the books I am pleased to report. Freedom at last. The Mayor can have his taxes now that I can be certain exactly what he is owed and be damned.
Yet as I sit down in my study to write this entry, expecting a wave of relief to sweep over me. All I truly feel is a sickness. Persistent. I fear that I would prefer it that my childhood friend were still angered with me. Since our reconciliation and the nursemaid caught us in the throes of passion she appears to still haunt my waking hours. First I chanced upon her in the Inn. One thing led to another and she shared my bed. Apparently our first tryst has awakened within her a renewed desire for me as she has taken to dropping in on my home after nightfall and again, eager for more. In fact the last occasion we even spent the day together. The woman is unrelenting. I enjoy her. Damn it.
Oh, poor old you. You might say. A fair kinswoman, a local business owner. A dear friend, providing the comforts of a warm body and even offering to make me my supper, cook me my breakfast. Poor old me indeed.
Where is the anger? Surely the woman should have found another to devote her attentions to by now. She does not lack for beauty. She has it in abundance as much as any other whether she realises it or no. Certainly she has an effect upon me. I confessed as much I am surprised to say.
Damn these ramblings of mine. I myself have kept no other company in my bed for a longer time than I'd like to admit. But I must confess my mind now turns naturally to rectifying such matters. On my second day of freedom following the last, I rode into town. Eager to see what manner of company might take my fancy. Indeed I found my welcome distraction again. The one I had entertained over a goblet of red. In my nostrils still linger her sweet, herbal scent. But there was with her another man.
I learnt to my surprise that the fair maiden I had decided to send a gift to. Whom indeed I had met in the tavern in Bree, blushing and practically near giggling. Was engaged to be wed to this man. He seems much older. And she is, well... Let's just say he is no oil painting and she is certainly the fairer. She is a maiden of the Mark, plain to see. Quite the strange coupling if you ask me. But who am I to judge? I hope my treats were to her liking in any case. A simple kindness repaid. I had heard of the ordeal she had been through. Gossip travels rather quickly in Bree after all. I did not lie to her husband to be when I simply said I only knew her in passing. Since the days she gifted me the scone in the Inn I have but spoken to the girl twice. I did not think it appropriate to tell her fiance of the hamper with the mead and the cheese among other things in case he did not know. Lest he get the wrong impression. Perhaps a part of me did see her as a potential conquest to allay the sickness in the pit of my stomach. The hamper the seeds of a potential flirtation. I did so enjoy the way she looked and in the twinkling of an eye my old instincts kicked in. I gave her a wink, which seemed only to exacerbate the colouring of her cheeks.
No, she is off limits now. She probably is not that sort of girl anyway. Though I'm certain the continued flushing of her cheeks would have continued to amuse me greatly. I am no home wrecker. You might think me sordid, you may judge me. Whomever it is reads these pages years from now should they not be destroyed before my death. But that I will not do. Why deny happiness to another simply because my own soul is accursed.
I decided instead in that instant I would further narrow the field and place my attentions upon another. She's a very inquisitive woman and highly intelligent. Constantly probing. Indeed at one point I had begun to find it quite tiresome. Responding to her questions at times did leave me weary. We ate dinner at the hunting lodge not far from the south gate. Such a fine lady. To turn her nose up at first at such an expensive cut of meat as venison. Even if it was baked into a pie Though she was subtle about it. She changed her tune upon the tasting. I know very little of the lady other than she presumably comes from a noble house in Harondor. Travelled with a companion. Sadly my hopes that she would be able to bring a number to my Inn in order to sample the more finer beverages were a little optimistic. For she only had the one companion who journeyed with her as far as I know, servant aside. A smile quite captivating I suppose of sorts nearly always playing upon her lips. A compliment here and a compliment there. Truly this woman seems to be a seductress of a kind. I am under no illusions as to that. Yet she did amuse me sufficiently when she was not plaguing me with her questioning and attempting to glean more about me. I divulged nothing I did not wish her to know or she could not discover for herself.
Our last words in the lodge were somewhat suggestive.
She sought to escape the war it seems. Doesn't everyone. A common way of simply dismissing further motive to leave one's own lands though often true. Completely or in part. And yet I was to learn a little more of her character when I took her into the back rooms. It seems to me that noble women as I have experienced before can be equally as vulgar as common girls. I will not go into the details of such of course. Her questioning of me became more personal in such a way that might infringe upon more innocent and delicate eyes than my own. She enjoys her wordplay. Potentially more than I do though it was amusing. But I must confess I had a mind for a little more than that.
I cast the die, I made my move. And yet she rebuked my advances. Claiming she was an untouched maiden. Certainly, I laughed at that. And yet she continued with her sordid manner in parting.
It seems I have learned something of this woman's desires. She said it would be a shame to end the game so soon. Perhaps I will see her again soon. Perhaps not. For I intend to saddle my horse and follow one of my wagons west as soon as I am able. A week away will do me wonders.
I still need to choose my bookkeeper even now as I tend the books upon a daily basis without having to play catch up. Definitely a lighter load. I learned more of the first applicant I mentioned within these pages. Though certainly she did not seem to enjoy the telling of the tale. I sensed that she was being honest with me. I may just trust her enough to hire her yet. Or she may have taken up her other employment before the deadline. We'll see.
Having made the marriage of my friends official, I reluctantly agreed to let a certain someone attend the celebration. Though I'm told her ranger would likely not attend. I must confess, I am rather gladdened by this. But the Captain's daughter keeps subtly trying to bring up my childhood friend whenever it suits and it seems now she seeks to talk to me about her own red-headed friend. Joy, of joys.
For now though, I'll tuck into some of that Dalish whiskey myself, I acquired more than one bottle quite fortunately and it is damned strong.
