Raven's Ramblings: Hurt

I'm beyond words at how I feel right now. Someone who I thought I loved seems to have lied and betrayed me, thus I ousted him from my live. It hurts. I suppose it was nothing more than carnal lust.
My heart yearns for the love I lost, which seems to not have existed in the first place it seems. I must move on, now my thoughts drift back to Brynleigh. I wonder how she is doing right now... She is happy, in a much better place than I am.
I told my brother to take Inga for the day, I cannot bear to let her see her father in this condition. I spent the day crying, my eyes are dry, not a single tear can be cried any more, for I cried for a lifetime. The heartbreak causes me physical pain. I lost track of how many times I heaved my stomach contents out. I am in no mood to properly treat myself.
I am not in a good mental place. I feel my resolve and willpower crumbling away, feel like I am drowning on land. If it were not for my daughter or Brynleigh I would've ended myself, my neck aches now from the rope of a recent attempt at my life, just before Inga came into my life once more.
The man is out of my life before he could hurt me again, it is better that way. I'd sooner find proper love with an orc than with him.
(The end of his words are smudged with tears and blood)