I hunt many things. Boars, deer, wolves, badgers, wolverines, birds, squirrels, bears... all have fallen to the twang of my bow and the flight of my arrow. But there is a creature that I love to hunt more than any other: the humble turtle.
Now, there are two primary hunting grounds for these lovely little creatures. If you're of a mild temper, perhaps you'd prefer Halecatch Lake in Andrath, south of Bree. Tiny turtles like to swim about here, ready and eager to be caught by anyone with two working legs. They aren't very fast, after all. And, as I'm sure you know, they're delicious! Turtle soup made from these particular turtles is one of life's simple pleasures, and if I come into town at least once a week for nothing else, I come for the soup.
But the turtles of Halecatch Lake, while entertaining to catch once in a while, are not worth being caught by any real hunter. More often their captors are hobbits and children, eager to make a pretty penny by selling their game to Sig Mandrake or any other soup maker in town, almost like a miniature version of the hunting and trading that I do. But these turtles are cheap, and time is better spent elsewhere, hunting other prey.
There is, however, another lake that houses delicious turtles. Nen Harn, far to the northeast of Bree, beyond the expanses of the Chetwood, holds a horde and a half of huge snapping turtles. These I hunt regularly, both for sale (for both the meat and the shells, since the shells can be even more valuable than the meat) and for myself, as one of the few dishes that I've mastered the making of in my life is snapper soup. If one of the simple pleasures of life is eating the soup made from the tiny turtles of Halecatch Lake in Bree, then another is eating the soup made from the snapping turtles of Nen Harn on the shores of that vast lake. It's very peaceful up there, as long as you have a way to deal with the snapping turtles.
Perhaps you're expecting an adventurous story by this point, and while I had intended to write this simply praising the wonderful taste of the turtles of Bree-land, I would hate to disappoint, so I'll comply.
It was many years ago, I recall. I had just quit my apprenticeship in Bree, and I was looking to spend an extended period of time out in the wilderness to clear my head a little bit and, generally, have a good time hunting. So I set out from the North Gate, and went into the northern and, eventually, eastern Bree-fields. I was mostly hunting and eating boar at this time, and I was getting rather bored of it, when in the distance I saw what looked to be a grand body of water. As I approached, I knew it to be true: the fabled Nen Harn, which up to that point I had only seen on maps.
I ran to the shore, and immediately I felt the urge to let the water run over my feet. So I set all of my gear down nearby, took off my boots, and waded into the shallows. It felt so wonderful - the cool water running over my tired feet - that I closed my eyes in utter relaxation, and I swear I almost fell asleep standing.
Which is when I felt a rather sharp pain in my big toe. In my moment of relaxation, a snapping turtle had swum up and bit me with its hard beak. I shouted in terror and kicked it away, but it was too late for my toe, which was already bleeding profusely. I turned and ran away back towards my gear, only to find two other turtles rummaging around in my pack and eating my food.
Of course, all of my weapons were next to those terrifying beasts, so I had to find another way to stop them. So I limped over to the edge of the water once more and grabbed two large stones (one for each hand, and one for each turtle). I snuck up behind the larger one as best I could, and as soon as I was close enough I hurled one of the rocks at him with all my might, killing him instantly.
The other noticed me and tried to run away (snapping turtles seem to be faster than non-snapping turtles), but I hurled my second rock at him, and knocked him over. He wasn't dead yet, but he was unable to move or to hurt me. I took one of my hunting knives and ended the poor creature's life in one fell swoop, and then I turned to tending my injured toe.
It was then, with diminished food supplies and two dead turtles, that I discovered the absolute delectability of snapping turtle meat. I stayed for an entire day by that shore as I nursed my toe back to health, and in that time I ate a lot of turtle. It was all worth it.
