My dear Father urnu - 3

My dear Father Urnu,
I write this letter mainly to ask your help and advice. I am aware that my life until now has been very different from 'the norm'. I've spent my youth in the desert, with you, using my time to dream and think, not much in contact with the rest of the civilisation. Of course i'm different, this is especially obvious since i have reached Imladris. My sindarin is poor, but i study fast. I'm training to dance, and soon a bard lady will even start to teach me to play music. It's easy. All that is not a big problem, i'm learning how they live, who they are, it's not so difficult.
No, the only trouble, Father Urnu, and why i really need your help, it's the dreams.
I've always had a lot of dreams, and i remember well how you and the rangers always loved to hear about my dreams, how Candaith and Frecdan especially were questionning me and were listening with so much interest. I've had a lot of fun telling them, as it was clear in my mind, easy to remember.
But since i am in Imladris, thinks have changed, a lot, and now i'm getting scared. Firts, i thought i could not remember my dreams. I knew that i had dreamed, but simply couldn't remember any picture. But in fact, now i realize that's even worse than that : I'm getting more and more confused, i sometime, more and more often, simply don't know where i am, if i am dreaming or in the 'reality', or in a book, or in my head, i just don't know... Sometimes i see someone i seem to know and wonder : where have i met this person before ? in which dream, which story, which reality ? I'm lost.
Yesterday evening, while the other elves were enjoying chating and dancing in the Hall of Fire, i was wandering there alone, not knowing what to do, feeling like... in a dream... I went upstairs, watching distractly the bookshelves, when suddenly my eyes catched a title (it was in Sindarin but i could understand it) : The Signification of the Dreams.... It was a heavy tome, describing common dreams' themes, and proposing explanations on their cause, their sense... Well, there were very interesting pictures, but finally, it was not helping me much, as nowadays i cannot remember my dreams, and can't even always know when i am awake or sleeping...
I was sitting there, reading the book and taking notes, when suddenly a girl was standing in front of me, but in real... well, in that what i was at this moment perceiving as reality... And this girl, i knew her, but with such a feeling, i don't know, it was totally absolutely certain : i knew her, she was important to me... but i could not remember who she was... i even thought she was in the book, in one of these painted dreams... but no, she was there, in front of me... and i couldn't communicate, i had no way to say something logical, as nothing was logical... i even think there were other people too, around, as i remember hearing some words... but all what i could see was her face, her eyes... i know her, she's important... and then... i don't know... there's a black hole, again, and i 'awake?' in the garden... alone... i'm so lost, Father Urnu, i must find this girl again, i have the feeling that she's a key to all that... that she will help me. But what if i was dreaming her, what if she's not coming back, whatever the world ?
I should also try to explain to Reiven, next time i see her, i don't know if it will help... but i feel so lonely, she's a friend, somehow, maybe, a bit, i hope...
You're so wise Father, please help me...
Your Tinuchen