You know, it seems like every time I visit Breeland my feelings sort of get pushed to extremes in one way or the other. Sometimes, I am really happy. Sometimes, I feel like the sadness will never end. It has left me feeling quite tired but, if I think on it more, I wouldn't change it at all. I'd rather feel things in full rather than feel nothing at all. Isn't that what life is about?
I am happy that Byrge and his family are now settled and happy and free to live and grow as they will. And words cannot express how glad I was to finally see Maddoct and Bild again and to share a meal with everyone after all these months apart. There is a certain and special sort of happiness to be felt when sharing a delicious meal with good friends. I do hope we can make this sort of feast as close to an annual thing as we may. But, if that is to happen, I'll need to make sure to acquire abnormally large taters on the regular. I'm sure I'm up to the task. This is nothing for the crowned Queen of Taters!
Goodness, I've just realized it has been some time since I've written in this journal. So much else to recount and so little time and space on the page.
In short: I've met with Miss Catalinna again, though everyone just calls her Cat. So, I'll call her Miss Cat. She still works at the Knotwood Soothery under Doctor Elias Dimheim. For awhile, I couldn't bring myself to go lookin' for her since I wasn't sure she'd want to see someone like me. Even though Addie and others have told me that what happened to her - though I'm sure I don't know the half of it - wasn't my fault, I still feel guilty. I probably always will. She is Moyna's real granddaughter, not me. Even though I didn't know and had no say in it, I had everything that should have been Miss Cat's. And now Miss Cat has gotten mixed up in my ongoing problems even though I'm sure she never wanted to be. And I feel like that's my fault too. But it's not her job to make me feel less guilty about it. I just wish that I could make up for it. I want to make it right. Especially with Fornost ahead of me. But, enough on that now...
Speaking of the Soothery, there's another lass that works there named Rue. Watching her and Cat, it's like a game of cat and mouse. All puns intended. Though, I think Cat has more fun taunting poor Rue than Rue has getting back at Cat. Rue reminds me of Lif just a little bit. She's angry most of the time I see her but she has been kind to me so I'll not forget that. People are more than how they feel at any given moment, after all. She strikes me as someone who tries to be what most folk think is normal but has too many things around to make it harder. I'm trying to not be one of those things but, sometimes, it is awfully hard to tell what is good and what is bad for her. But, that doesn't mean I shouldn't try my best, yes? If I were her, I'd want the same done for me. Besides, what is actually 'normal' anyway?
[Below this entry is the beginnings of a sketch of someone wearing a hat. It is also crossed out mutiple times with a scribbled: 'This needs a bigger space' beneath it.]
